It’s January seventh. We are a week into a new calendar year and it is not the bright new beginning many of us had hoped for. Let’s back up.
The last update I made we were all at a point where we were holding our breath for my mom. We knew she wasn’t going to make it but we weren’t sure how long her suffering would last. She passed early in the morning on Halloween. It felt fitting for me because despite loving to decorate for any holiday Halloween was definitely her least favorite. Of course she decorated for fall but not nothing Halloween specific. Since then I’ve had to travel back home to West Virginia three times. I wanted to spend the holidays with my family but the truth is being there without her was suffocating. And continuing to see things daily that I would call her for or send her pictures of is almost physically painful. While we do have a good support system of family and friends it is a strange feeling being this age knowing my brother and I are all that is left of our family unit. It is hard to describe the feeling of being alone I’ve had since we lost my Mom even when I’m surrounded by people I love.
Moving on to more moderate news there is some financial relief happening for us now. It will take time for sure but I feel more reassured everyday that we will make it out of this slump last year put us into. While I don’t feel that financially we started the year on a positive note I can say it feels safe to take it out of my negative category. I hope that many people are feeling a similar hopefulness with regard to their finances as well.
We finally got a COVID vaccine and many people even in my own life have already received their first dose. The willingness of so many to quickly take the vaccine brings me hope that the presence of COVID in our everyday life will start to fade. I don’t believe we will see what we considered “normal” for quite some time but we all are hoping to be able to socialize and live our lives with less fear.
The truth is we went into the New Year celebrating almost normally and it did feel like everyone released a huge breath at midnight as we tried to focus on the future and say goodbye to the past year. Yesterday’s events put an immediate tension on the possibility of 2021 being a better chance for us all. Watching everything unfold yesterday and hearing the head of our country provoke outrage and encourage the people to take back what was “stolen” was horrifying. A small light seemed to come as we confirmed our next president.
I think this year still has a chance to be a light for us all. Although we may still be processing and dealing with events from the past and the present feels shaky we can still hope for every tomorrow moving us toward a brighter more positive year. If you are still doing new year resolutions good on you! I however decided not to promise or commit myself to anything but trying to be happy and good to myself. Most of us had a rough time of it and I think we all deserve a chance to piece things back together in our own time and take a break from telling ourselves we have to make a change and make improvements constantly.
Here is hoping that today finds you better than yesterday and that the thought of tomorrow excites and interests you.